It was a challenging day for me. Mentally and emotionally. I woke knowing that challenge lay before me and I was open and ready. That which I saw coming I managed with as much grace as I could muster, but it was that which sideswiped me that rocked me to my foundation.
I must be stupendously dense, for I have somehow hurt an old friend. That, in and of itself hurts - a variety of hurt that is mine and that I own. My old friend has shunned me for a while now, yet I have done my part in attempting to maintain contact. Heck, I even asked what it was that I had done that warranted this distance she put between us. She responded a while back with a hint that I had blown her off one too many times. I apologized with the caveat that I was unaware of any specific blow-offs and even asked for specifics. Unknowing of specifics I asked for forgiveness and an opportunity to talk it out and make it right. The opportunity remained ... aloof. That's OK I reasoned. Healing takes time and I'm somewhat patient. Alas, today I received the oddest and most hurtful response to an invitation to a Yule party that could ever imagine. Frankly, without the experience I could never have imagined such a response as that which I received.
Apparently I'm a manipulative, repetitive, sweet-talking, guilt-mongering bully with selective memory. Well ... I sat quietly with this for a while and was assured that these abusive accusations belong not to me. Such is life.
All this on the heals of a loving exercise in futility in attempting to help my mom procure christmas gifts for family members that consumed more of my day than seems reasonable given the rather empty outcome.
Yet amid all the silly futility and hurt I took solace in rolling sweet balls of chocolately confection for sweeter friends with whom they will be shared and who love me - as I am - flaws and all. Thank you very much. And the sweet simplicity of this recipe offered me a solace that I both needed and deserved.
Let's just call these Solace Balls, shall we?
2 cups oatmeal (and then some)
1 cup sugar
1 cup butter
6 tablespoons of good cocoa (and then some)
water to moisten - if needed
~ and your choice of confectioners sugar, cocoa & sugar, cinnamon and sugar, instant coffee and sugar, etc in which to roll the balls.
Mix all ingredients together like a loving madwoman, shape into balls and roll in your choice of ... whatever - use your imagination! And I gotta tell ya - folks love these!
That's what I made today. Damn it.
17 comments:
*I* love you, rose :)
Sorry to hear about your day. I hope everything gets better.
Those Solace Balls look so yummy! Thanks for sharing the recipe!
I have to say, the older I get the less crap I put up with. I agree, if you don't like me as I am and aren't willing to spend the time to give me a chance to talk it through with you...then have a great life. I'm not perfect, I'm a busy person and I would never intentionally hurt a person. Sometimes something said is taken out of context, was not really the way you meant it and people take delight in harboring something that was totally innocent on your part. It happens. When I was younger something like that would crush me, but age makes you smarter and value yourself more. Don't dwell on it Rose, you now have a little more love to share...thank you..I'll take it!
Blessings~
Cindy
((hugs))
Hope tomorrow is a better day!
I'm sorry to read about the apparent misunderstanding between you and your old friend. Remember, friends are with you for either a reason, a season or for life. Perhaps you've learned all you can from that friendship & it's time to part ways & move on.
Big Hugs to you. I hope you let go of the hurt feelings and have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Sometimes, when people lash out like this, it is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Sometimes, when people lash out like this, they are hurting a lot themselves, they are confused and angry and inadvertently lash out at those they value the most. Call it self destruct. If you genuinely felt this way about a friend would you tell them like this or gracefully keep your distance? The fact that your friend is making these sounds, as hurtful as they are, makes me think that they are hurting and feel rejected. The friend wants to hurt you as no longer knows how else to communicate with you nicely. On the positive note, communication has begun.... This may be something that can be worked through? Many people get very depressed in winter and the build up to Christmas, the self consuming irrational kind of depression that lashes out, the depression that considers all actions a direct response to them. The depression that forgets they are only one tiny part of this big cosmos ...
PS, that recipe sounds like a great one to do with my daughter, thank you x
I always hate that stuff. I think this year's New Year's Resolution is going to be to drop people who treat me like crap - I seem to have so many of them around sometimes! I try to be genial and funny and genuinely caring (like you) but some people are not nice. I don't want to get into it with them - verbally or in my head - after all, these negative feelings and emotions don't hurt them, they just hurt me...
so I can empathize with your situation...
I also agree with Jasmine - most people I know are freaking out right now b/c it's the holidays...
so hang in there :-) Keep making those Balls of Solace :-)
There is a quote by Wayne Dyer that I find very comforting in situations like this: "The way people act it's their karma; the way you react is yours"
You know you are SO above this, don't you?
Love
Carolina
Rose, you've done more than should be expected to try to address the issue. If you were any of those mean things she said, you wouldn't have tried so hard to reach out to her. Unfotunately (for her), you may as well move on and accept that she may never know what a wonderful gift she threw away. Truly, we can't always be what others need from us.
Thank you all for your comments and food for thought. Today is a new day and so I fly into the dawn of it ... :)
Peace.
I love you!
I find solace in food too! I'm sorry you had a rough day - and about your friend. The Solace Balls are perfect and sound delicious. I bet they just melt in your mouth. *HUGS*
Apparently perception is everything - and some people have a very odd way of looking at things. So sorry your friend has sideswiped you. Perhaps s/he feels guilty about something? After reading the rest of the comments, I see many people have some very good insight into this issue. If you know in your heart that what your "friend" says isn't true, then take solace in that knowledge - and down a few more solace balls, just in case! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
I truly agree with the other commenters. Sometimes people have issues with you, because you are a safe person to have issues with! That anger and resentment probably has a "real" target out there... but your softer kinder nature means that they can exorcise those feelings by aiming them at you, because that person knows you won't lash back, unlike the real target of those feelings which is probably someone abusive that would really "make them pay" for expressing it. I also think it's safe to say that the holidays play a role in the conflict, and that the other person is doing some big learning right now (hopefully.) In any case, thank you for the wonderful recipe and I do like the name you gave them!! Cheers, Bonnie
I find none of those to be true of you. As I have come late to this conversation and you have moved on I will offer nothing more then {{HUGS}}to you and Blessing to both parties. See you VERY VERY SOON!
I'm sorry to hear you recieved such a coal-raking, particularly at this time of year..I had a similar experience several months ago, and well understand the "elevator" sensation it can deliver.
Blessed Yule to you, and thank you for yuour continual generosity and inspiration.
Cheers!
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