resting in suspension

🌑♒︎entry

I’ve been quiet.

Or so someone suggested.

It’s not for lack of words.

My mind overflows with words.

My heart overflows with feels.

A cacophonous libretti.

That overflow spews out of my heart, swirling within me… out of my crown, swirling above me, around me, below me, holding me captive within a ferment of letters and numbers, disjointed words, whole words, and so many feels… I just can't seem to grasp the pieces that I need to perceive, to hear, to share.

What’s worthy of feeling and expressing eludes me.

So for now, I’m suspended.

I feel that.

a rinse 'n' repeat resurrection?

I posted my first blog entry 20 years ago today. It was a daily practice. Then it wasn’t. Then it was. Rinse and repeat. You get the idea.

I wrote, "...this practice may simply allow me to organically explore the diversity of life, healing, spirit and energies that make up my being and offer me the experiences and opportunities that I am able to share with others - in the hopes to nurture holistic wellness and growth."

Two years ago I reflected, “Not my best structured sentence, but the meaning rings through.”

I feel a tug to resurrect the practice. Again. A tug to spew words sans judgement. Just get it out. Just flow. For the Medicine it might offer. For me, for sure. Maybe for you, too.

I write. And doodle. Every day. It’s a ritual - a Medicine practice, I say - that was reignited this past year, thanks to my Moonshine work and coven. I embrace the quiet of early morning. I cajole my mind, heart, body and being to settle into the day, to explore the current hedge of life’s mysteries.  To sip coffee. To ignore my tinnitus. To witness signs. To imagine imaginings. To stretch my body’s stiffness. To seek wisdom. To acknowledge the privilege of these morning rituals. And so on. I pick up my fuck-waste refillable fountain pens, make note of the lunar position, the ordinary date, and let the mercurial expressions present - just flow - in my daily Book of Mirrors.

Like in the recent entry I’m sharing with you here.

Despite the seasonal tug to honor the message in that entry, methinks - with this blogiversary - I may need to honor the other tug to return to this typed ritual. I mean, I know it’s been plucking at me for the past several months. I know there’s a communal need to share the Medicine that is our stories, be they grand ‘r humble. I recognize there’s a communal need to share comfort with one another. I know I’m fiercely solitary. So this way, with these typed words, feels fitting… again… in this moment.

Maybe this is it. The resurrection of regular (if not daily) shared expressions. If not for you, then for me. Whatcha think?

As I sit with this, and continue sipping my morning brew, penning my pre-dawn ruminations, I invite you - if you are able - to offer attention to the words that the spirit of winter offered me… “Embrace Winter: The spirit of quiet, stillness, slow pace, be the be. Just flow.”

Be the be. We shall see. Just flow.

🕊️

"Hey Corvid!"

Some magick ya just gotta share...

I stepped outside to do one of my recently renewed rituals. A ritual I've dedicated to Fetch. As I stepped onto the deck, one of our neighborhood crows (allies to our hens) swooped into a nearby tree. I greeted them as I routinely do with a, "Hey Corvid!" Before I could begin my honor to the directions, Corvid offered three calls. I responded in kind. Then two more calls of three, creating three threes of call and response. This was then followed by two threes of call and response. Magick.

I continued my ritual of honoring the directions as Corvid perched in quiet. I stepped up to my door, turned and called out love and gratitude to this feathered friend. I stepped inside. They flew off. Magick.

Magick and validation. From Fetch.

 
  
  
 

Sun's day blessings to y'all. Make some magick, by any name.

Peace. 🕊

Sam the Cat

It's been forever since I've participated in a creative challenge. It's been forever since I've participated in any online art community. But I want to get back to it, because it's such a good Medicine, and so I shall. I need to be patient with myself, as this is a very busy time of year for us on our little acre, what with growing, harvesting, and preserving a lion's share of our own vegetable food. That said, I do journal in some way most every day, be it words, scribbles 'n' doodles, some thing… because creative expression is good Medicine.

I used to be a regular participant of Art Journal Journey, and it's been years - literal years - since I've engaged. Yet this month's theme inspired me to catch a sketch of Sam the Cat, sitting on a book, gazing out the window, while I sipped a cup of tea. After all, this month's theme is Books, Cats and Tea. 

So there it is: A baby step to return to the fab community of art journalers out there. It feels good. ::nods::

🕊

This. Work.

 

Peace. 🕊

Autumn Fey

The sketch was made last week, and embellished with watercolor this morning.

My practice of heART journaling is always good Medicine.

Peace. 🕊

Another heART journal flip

Here's another heART journal, this one from 2013, a year of big Medicine for me. Peace. 🕊 rose

heART journal memories 2012

I'll be going through some of my old heART journals in an effort to catalogue them for ease in exploring their contents for the various reasons we go through our old journals. Sometimes it's to seek a specific memory, or experience... or style, design, or technique, or simply to seek patterns, and explore past Medicine for present applications.

My practice of heART journaling is Medicine to me. Ever since I was a little girl, making art has been integral to my wellness, to my personal evolution. And I recognize this Medicine in all creative expression, be it poetry, prose, dance, music, theater, whatever! Yet for me, the visual arts have always been my go-to Medicine.

As I video my journals for this purpose I'll be sharing them with you, and I hope this adds some value beyond my own.

Peace. 🕊

A Colorful Hello Spring!

It's been a long time since I've engaged an art journal (or any art) challenge with my online community of creatives. Yet yesterday offered a gift of shared herART journaling in the studio with some creative folk, and I managed to complete this colorful spread to welcome spring with a wee bit of my own bad poetry, as I lovingly call it.

And in doing that, I combined two challenges. One from Art Journal Journey, where the challenge is "Welcome Springtime," and Moo Mania, where the challenge is Colorful!

My hope is to reengage this practice, if not every month, then whenever I am able. I've been away from it too long. It's a fun 'n freeing experience, even with the structure of theme, to ponder a collective topic, tap into the collective creativity, create in the collective verve, and share the love with the collective community. Maybe you'd like to join the fun!

Peace. 🕊

Waiting for Gaia's Vernal Thaw

Beautiful, unpredictable March, the month that ushers in the vernal equinox, the solar portal of spring... I experience mixed feelings as spring approaches. I mourn the loss of winter's long, dark, solitary hibernation and nights lingering by the warmth and glow of an evening fire. I celebrate the increasing pace of seed-starting, harvesting, opened doors and windows, and the decline of wood-burning dust. Already, strolling around my little acre, currently void of snow (or mostly), I've begun harvesting garlic mustard and onion grass, I see the cleavers and chickweed sprouting, motherwort reemerging, along with Egyptian onions, and a host of others that simply wait for the snow to melt. I'm still waiting for the first signs of the nettle, and remind myself that it's still early. So while I wait for the fullness of Gaia's vernal thaw, I'll be planting my own garden... starting and tending to the seedlings that will nourish and sustain me for months and years ahead.  In. Deed.  Indeed. ::nods:: Peace.

Of Being Human

Some days an aspect of our world can turn upside down and throw us off our center. For me, this was one of those days. Granted, it was of my own making; the result of good intentions fueled by deeply rooted business protocol focused on the customer. All the same, my choices were in error. The only details that matter are these:

A little meditation and heART journaling was my Medicine for clarity.

I made a mistake.

And I shall do my best to learn from it, and not repeat it.

This is the best part of being human.

I hope your day is rich in lessons rooted in humanity.

Peace.

More Room for Less

September arrived with a touch of autumn in the air. The days have been less humid and the evenings darken earlier and beg for an extra layer. It's quite kind of Nature to offer this, given the waxing of boiling pots in my kitchen. The canning continues every few days, mostly just to keep up with the tomatoes this year. And I must say that The Spouse has been a huge help this year. We already have several jars of purée nestled in with leftovers from last season, plus several jars of dried tomatoes... squash, green beans, beets, collards, kales, a variety of herbs. Next up will be more of the same plus the tomatillos, winter squashes, autumn beets, broccoli, brussel sprouts, daikons, and other assorted abundance for which I'm so grateful. Admittedly, even as my pantry fills to overflow I find myself longing for the first frost and the autumn-to-winter downshift. ::nods:: Soon my dining table will have room again for actual dining.

Despite the frantic busyness of this aspect of the garden-to-pantry season, I do make time for the Mystery, for the spiritual side of life that nurtures and sustains me as much as any Ordinary "food."

I make time in my studio for making messes with students (and alone) and tidying up afterward. I make time for plotting and planning the year ahead in broad, holistic strokes and in focused, precise ways.

Making time for my heART journals has been spiking, as the Ordinary makes renewed and new connections with the Mystery and makes more room for exploring and evolving. It would seem that all things in these first few days of September are leading me to make more room for less. We shall see.

Peace.

Good Medicine - All of It

September has somehow evolved into the double-digit phase. How did that happen? Where did the time fly? And from what magic are those wings made?

Yet, I've managed to get many harvests put by, as they say, for the many meals that lie ahead. I've been drying and canning and freezing and fermenting. Not to mention infusing oils and tincturing with delightfully fresh herbal harvests. It's Good Medicine. All of it.

I've tried something new this year, thanks to a online friend and preserving enthusiast. I make quarts (and more quarts, and pints too) of tomato purée and have historically added the "waste" (skins and seeds) to the compost. This year, I've been dehydrating it and blending it into a powder to be added to soups, stews, sauces and who-knows-what-else? It's a new experience for me and I can dig it.

I've canned collard greens and beets too... and have more still to harvest and process. And then some.

I still have dried broccoli from last year, so I've been harvesting and freezing packages for winter enjoyment. Carrots, squash, parsley and leeks are also in the mix of preserves, in their many forms.

And I've been heART journaling on a more regular basis, not daily, but every other day 'r' so. Keeping it simple has been key to this renewed practice. Isn't that always the way? Now... if only keeping things simple were... simple.

That's a taste of what I've been up since the calendar flip. As for today, I have studio time, dispensary time, weather-dependent garden time, kitchen time and then more studio time planned. Wish me well!

Peace.

Brisk Mystery that Sustains

August. It's almost over. Its pace was brisk. It served to keep me focused... on the mystery... and on the ordinary. Every day I've been harvesting and preserving ~ from the gardens and from Life experiences ~ and with still much to come in the gardens I already have countless jars in my pantry selves to sustain me through the literal and figurative months ahead. And now, if history can be trusted, the pace will continue to quicken over the next two months. The season of Urgency approaches. And I welcome it. For rest follows it. Year after year.

And even as the days grow shorter, I find myself moving deeper into the warming rays of Life's light. And, as one who has a long history of embracing the loving shadows of Life, I find the experience both perplexing and welcomed. In my world, the flow of time isn't linear. Like sunrises and sunsets, moon waxings and wanings, it's an intriguing spiral of familiar mystery that comforts me. This journal spread is a silly expression of these things and I share it with you and my creative communities at Mix It Monthly, Paint Party Friday and Art Journal Journey.

So on these final days of August I'll do my best to keep up with the quickening pace of Life and Living, and make time to quietly enJOY the sunny blooms of the season.

Peace.

rose

Playful Gratitude for those Clowns we call Drama

It has been a strange and wonderful week in my little realm. A week filled to overflow with drama of the welcomed and less-than-welcomed variety. The skies have offered dramatic views; with passing storms, sunrises and sunsets that inspire gasps and sighs. And then some. These are moments of drama that I welcome, savor... and invite. Yet other silly and less welcomed moments offered me distinct reminders of life lessons and Wisdom born of experience. I embrace them all. The extremes and the subtle moments, too. And offer gratitude. For all of them.

So today I place a few finishing touches on this week's heART journal spread and I share it with you and my creative friends at Paint Party Friday (who I've missed, by the way).

With that I offer you this: Get out there. Do something. Anything. Go. Now. Do.

Peace.

Busy-ness, Breaking and Blessings

June has been exceptionally busy. For me. Filled with events and workshops, comings and goings, garden demands and wild-harvesting, deliveries and doings, forgiveness and gratitude, associates and friends and loved ones.

No matter how I slice these experiences, Nature is present. With this realization, I was inspired to make myself a botanical Spirit Bundle, and figured if I'm making one, why not a few extra?

Today they get unwrapped and sit atop mugwort stems in the solar dehydrator for a final kiss of sunny drying.

I've been harvesting my local allies for food, craft fodder and Medicine. Today I have more Saint Joan's wort and violet leaf to harvest... among other botanical allies.

I was blessed over this past weekend with an intimate workshop to share the simplicity and empowerment of making one's own kombucha. This experience offered an opportunity to re-meet (that's right, re-meet) a lovely local woman who, as serendipity would have it, raises angora rabbits to spin her own fiber and consequently has a bunny "waste" management challenge. And there I am... with my compost. So bunny "waste" has been added and the compost pile turned for the first time this season. Connections/relationships steer it all!

I was blessed with some art time over the weekend. Craft time, too.

And actually began a new spread in my art journal. Such amazing Medicine this is, giving mind and heart to the busy-ness of June and to the coming of July, a TaB (Take a Break) month for me, with only a few external commitments, and lots of time and space for Me, my gardens and preserving, my wild-harvesting, my herbs, my art, my loved ones. And my spirit. I especially look forward to rekindling my relationship with my botanical ancestors in some very intentional ways.  When lay it out like this I wonder: What exactly is it from which I'm breaking? And I smile and feel ever so blessed.

I invest this final day of June in setting the tone and rhythm for the month ahead as I look forward its full arrival. I'll be kicking off the eve with a grilled feast of homegrown and local deliciousness, served outdoors, and tomorrow will be shared with my spouse and playtime at the studio, and Thursday's activities depend on the weather, yet will wind down with a visit to the opening reception for J. Timothy Quirk's wonderful art project, "Our Stories," for which I feel sweet gratitude in having been included.

So whether I'm busy or breaking, I do feel blessed. Challenges and all.

Peace.

Laughter, Despite the Odds

I was inspired by a recent art journal spread created by Effy Wild. I hadn't worked with the hand-trace in a while and I do love all the potential meaning in the the image of the hand and hands. This journal spread was perfect for my busy May of planting, seeding and spring harvests: Fast and Furious.

The outcome was humorous and meaningful, dark and ripe ... with light. I laughed right out loud when I looked at the spread after toying with the "background" color a third time and thought, "Yep. Melts in your mouth..."

Folks who know me know that I relish my Shadow, know that the darkness in me and in my life is a deep pool of potential. Potential light. Light that enables me to smile in the grimness, laugh in the meanness, and stay the course of optimism in a (sometimes) gloomy sea of pessimism. And so it was with this simple journal spread.

I look at this spread... and I laugh! And that's Good Medicine.

That's what I made today. Laughter, despite the odds. And I'm sharing this laugher with my creative friends at Paint Part Friday ~ because it's Friday, at Art Journal Journey ~ because there is a sea reference, and with Mix It Monthly ~ because my hands are a happily coupled symbol of the Power of choice and manifestation.

Peace.

May Art Journal Spread

May is bursting with sprouts and blossoms and seeds and growth of every kind. I'm sometimes hard on myself for not being able to keep up with the flurry of activities ~ activities that nourish and sustain me holistically. So I forgive myself and follow the lead of the plants in this vibrant season of spring, this lusty, vibrant month of May.

With that, gotta run. I have a scheduled list to ToDos that already falling behind the marks in my planner. And that's ... OK.

Besides, I have a journal spread I can share with my creative friends at Paint Party Friday and I can feel Good about that ~ go take a peek!

Peace.

Sunday Sketch - Waiting for Harvest

Merry May and International Permaculture Day! I'm celebrating with a Plant Swap happening at the studio and thought I'd pause to share a quick drawing of a cabinet that's waiting to be filled. With harvests. ::nods::

And I'm sharing this with Sunday Sketches, so click over to feast your eyes on other sketchy inspirations!

Peace.

A Vow to Instinct

Yes. Indeed. Nona E has lead me to and through some ugliness this month and now she invites the spirit of Wolf into our circle.

I mentioned in my last post that she issued a message to me. Well, I'm inspired to share a wee bit of that message with you...

"Be still. Come back to center. Invite the verve back to the core. Open to it. Feel it vibrate. Feel it in your heartflame. Feel the hurt. Let down your guard. Let in the antagonist. Listen and feel ... with all your senses. Stay firm in your core, your center, don't oppose, don't compete ... simply witness." ~ Nona E

Yes. Indeed.

Wolf is a totem, an animal spirit, recognized in many paths and traditions, so it has quite a list of potential meanings, values and purposes. Yet, for me, in this circle, in this moment, Wolf invites me to nurture and renew relationship with instinct ... with my sweet and fierce intuition.

Yes. Indeed.

As it is, so shall it be.

(And since wolves howl and scavenge, I suppose some my consider such behavior akin to a ruckus, so I'm sharing this post with my painterly friends at Paint Party Friday!)

Peace.