Arachnid 'n' Halley

 

I've been experiencing enormous comfort from these insistent rains, and in working in the officina (apothecary, if you prefer) these past couple/few days. Yesterday I was able to both harvest carrots and plant carrot seeds; a medicinal metaphor of meaning if ever there was one. Catching up on tasks 'n' communications that had been forfeited over the days prior, sorting through DPM (dry plant matter), especially the powders, to see what stays 'n' goes, making plans for students 'n' workshops all served to offer meaningful focus through which I was able to harmonize needed function with necessary sobbing. It's been a time of grieving, mourning, and healing, to say the least.

I'm still stunned at the expanse of this loss; the feeling in my chest - my heart - is palpable. Tears well up without warning, and fall like the rains. 

I've been working with Arachnid since Tuesday to hold my fractured heart open, yet together without breaking apart, as I grieve. She's woven a strapping 'n' silky-soft web around my heart, with the shattered pieces held open 'n' in place as I feel the feels that must be felt. When the time is ripe, she will assist me in mending the shards together with gold. 

I'm mightily blessed to Know and have relationship with Arachnid, a personal ally since the mid-1990s. Consciously, that is... I'm confident that the relationship is much, much older. She is, in my experience, never demanding. She shows up at will - her will - with unmistakable messages when I need them; I mean, you tell me that a spider bite on your butt doesn't speak with clarity. She responds without hesitation or judgement to my calls for support. She responded to my call to weave support around sweet Halley's backside on her final day with us. Between her loving fibers holding my heart - and me - together without falling hopelessly apart, and beloved Anubis holding Halley in her final day with us (more on that later), I feel grateful beyond grateful. 

It is a mighty comfort to have blessed Arachnid holding my heart, my life, my love, right now. I am beyond grateful for her blessings.

Peace. 🕊

Gods, I Loved Her.

I wake today to a space that is forever changed. It is void of a 70 pound loving presence that I shall infinitely miss. Yesterday, our beloved Halley Josephine moved from this realm to the big mystery. Gods, I loved her.

It all happened pretty fast. Which is a blessing. A month or two ago she began favoring her rear left leg. She was old, 14 years, and in being on the old trek myself, I chocked it up to years 'n' milage, and adjusted her medicinals. Despite her age, she always thought she was a puppy, and was filled with a cheekiness she'd express with dogged regularity. She'd jump like a lunatic when dinner was served al fresco, though not as high in recent days. She'd bark sass at her DaddyGuy when he didn't leash her up fast enough to get going on the walks she loved, be it around the neighborhood or around the little acre. In this vein, I could go on, and in saying that, there may well be more posts to honor her unselfish yet demanding spirit. Gods, I loved her.

About a week ago the favoring of the leg became more pronounced. She had jumped off the deck to run at and bark at a rabbit, so, again, I didn't make much of it, figuring it was a strain that would mend. Yet each day the favoring progressed. On the 3rd  of July I contacted a vet who specialized in at-home emergency and end of life care. She was out of state until the 6th, offered compassion, and options if we weren't able to hold out for the three days. So as the favoring and her hobble progressed, we did our best, as did she, to hold it together. I need to express that the fucking 4th of July bombing adorations didn't help any, and I was especially grateful for her passion flower 'n' chamomile CBD chews that night. We all went to bed early that evening, windows closed, fans running to muffle the loathsome explosions of neighbors near 'n' far. I spoke silently to Halley's spirit, prayed to Anubis 'n' others, as we all tossed 'n' turned with discomfort, occasionally switching on the soft light to see if she was trying to get up. Gods, I loved her.

The 6th came and with it a confirmation that Dr. Leah of Holistic Home Veterinary Services LLC was on her way. The waiting was pregnant with so many feelings, and in that time we did our best to comfort 'n' love our ol' girl. I can't even express depth 'n' width of my gratitude that we could do this at home, by her side, caressing her, whispering our love to her, with a vet of remarkable compassion. She was such a good girl. Gods, I loved her.

Today is hard. So hard. Overflowing with tears and gut wrenching sobs; smiles 'n' laughs, too. I'm nurturing the feelings, every one of them, for this little 70 pound bundle of attitude 'n' love gave us so much, and filled our little hut with more love than I realized. Gods, I loved her.

She will be missed beyond measure. Gods, I loved her. We both did. So, so much.

Peace. 🕊

Time to Share

See Santa peeking around the tree from the window?

The other night my dog Halley got very agitated and started barking at something and she just wouldn't stop. I thought maybe the neighbor's cat had been on the windowsill, but I didn't see anything. I thought maybe someone was coming to the front door, so I put on the light and looked out. No one, no cats, nothing and Halley kept barking.

Then I realized that my ridiculous dog was barking at my old childhood book depicting Santa on the cover.

I'm still chuckling.

And I had to pause to share the chuckle with you before too much more time had past.

Peace.

The Final Wash Down

Of Dawn dish detergent, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. I must say that while I used less peroxide than the formula called for, it worked quite well. There were diluted apple cider vinegar wipe downs too. This should be it. Maybe another head-n-face wash tomorrow, but I'm not telling Halley until I must.

We're both relieved that the worst is behind us. For this chapter anyway. Peace.

A Transfer of Scent

I was all set to blog last night and then ... life happened ... life in the form of a comedy of errors.

Now, I had been in and out all day, and while I closed the slider, I did not latch it. Keep in mind that this is a solid wood door with heavy double glass panes. It's quite weighty.

I'm not really sure of the sequence of events, but the bottom line is my dog, sweet Halley Josephine, got the door open, liberated herself, all in pursuit of ... a skunk. Need I say more?

One blessing in this is that the skirmish took place over the patch of garden where I had just planted my baby salsa tomatoes and infant Italian basil, and through some protective miracle of Nature they were all just fine this morning. The mulch was strewn hither-n-yon, but the plants appeared untouched. I am truly baffled and immensely grateful.

Needless to say, she got one wash down last night and slept in the garage. This morning I went shopping which resulted in three more wash downs and serious hose-rinses. The little willful bitch was not at all pleased. Truth is, I was less pleased - of this I am certain. Yet, despite the fact that she is smelling quite a bit better now, and I'm feeling quite skunky, I love her. So much. So freakin' much.

And I can't shake this feeling that she's somehow channeling me from my teen years.

Who'm I kiddin'? I'm still a willful bitch.

Peace.

Nose to Toe Love

Today I kissed my dog on her booboo nose. But I do that every day. But remember? The chicken coop nose injury? It's healing nicely. It was toenail clipping day and her one little curly nail got over-clipped, only a little, but she was overstimulating it with her medicine tongue so a little extra love was needed.

She's such a good patient. I love her so much.

And I made the time to list my four latest works of love.

 

 

That's what I made today.

A Turnip Discovery

The Boy cleaned the garage up today (bless his heart) and he found a few of my little garden bins in which a couple had some vegetation remaining from last autumn. I took them outdoors and dumped them into the compost, and as I did I perceived a weight and gravity that was unexpected. At closer inspection, two perfectly preserved turnips revealed themselves! Looks like I'll be adding them to our boiled dinner later this week.

I had a video too - of my little green-eating canine-Halley-girl nibbling the sprouting greens - but blogger takes way too long to upload.