What I know... and what I don't...

 

I know it's Friday, the first Venerdi of spring. The wind is whipping around out there in the pre-dawn hours. There's a chill in the house - our little hut, as I tend to call it - inspiring me to pull my wool shawl up and around shoulders and neck. I do this and I consider the fire that needs to be started for the warmth that will carry us through the day. I think of the trays of pea seedlings outside, hardening off, and feel glad that we covered them last night before relaxing into the evening. I'm reminded that they'll have their roots in the earth soon enough, and that peas are badass, tough as fuck, and are likely just fine our there in the dark of this March morning chill. I count my blessings, and feel mighty glad to be surrounded by the foundation, walls, and roof of our humble abode.

I know this little-shit cat, sweet and silky Sam, is sitting on the bed within petting distance. It's the first time he's curled up so close to me. The past two years, plus some, that we've know one another, he's stayed to the foot of the bed. This is special, this closeness, and I'll carry that magick into the day with me. Yes, I will. In the meantime, I'll pause from this keyboard to reach out and pet him for no other reason than he's so damned silky. And, yeah, I love him beyond reason.

I know I have list of reminders and ToDos for the day, but I haven't looked at that yet. I'm doing my best to express one thousand words before I commence any former morning routines. I'm doing this in the hopes of creating a new morning ritual. It's behavior modification, but I'm calling it morning ritual. That's sexier. Or something. I know that.

I know this morning. I know this moment. That's what I know.

I know some stuff. After all, one would expect to know a thing or two about a thing or two after sixty-six years of living.

All that said, I don't know much. I know that. I know that because for decades I've been of the mind to learn something new every day, and I do my best to invite that verve into my world every single day. There's so much I don't know. Some of it, beautiful, some of it not so much. When I look around the world these days, I find myself beyond grateful that there are things I don't know... experiences I've not had. So grateful. It’s a privilege. You know what I'm talking about.

This thread of thinking, which could easily stitch its way to mind 'n heart numbing depression, reminds me to do something good and decent for someone today. It also reminds me to do something good and decent for myself, so I reach out to stroke that silky fur of that little-shit cat, Sam. It's a stroke of love.

I don't know when these winds will pause. I don't know that it matters. For me, anyway, tucked under the bed covers, shawl wrapped around me, sipping hot coffee. I mean, hey, I'm comfortable. And tucked in this comfort, I consider those that lack the foundation, walls, and roof that offer me protection, comfort, contentment. I mean, everyone deserves protection, comfort, and contentment. Right? And a whole lot more to my way of thinking.

It's the stuff I don't know that seems to needle me. You know, the stuff I don't know, but know about. When I consider the moment, I consider the present world in which I live, the one we share. From my view, it has grown increasingly cruel throughout my lifetime, despite liberal views of declared improvement. I look at it all and consider it nothing but window dressing. I look at actions taken by leaders over the decades and see them - despite any sincere intentions of compassion that may have been a part of their creation - as the performance pieces that they are. Oh, don't get me going.

This thread of thinking, which could easily stitch its way to mind 'n heart numbing depression, reminds me to do something good and decent for someone today. I will. That's a promise. It also reminds me to do something good and decent for myself, so I reach out to stroke that silky, silky fur of that little-shit cat, Sam, who's sitting closer to me than he ever has in our shared existence. It's a stroke of love... protection, comfort, and contentment. And a whole lot more.

I see the light growing outside through the vertical voids of the bamboo blinds. I know the day is breaking. And with that, I know all the pieces are there for me to put together as I am able, and - if I'm lucky - as I choose.

I sit with the pieces of the day scattered around me. Beautiful bits and shards from which to create this new day. I'll do my best to choose carefully, and use discernment to take care not to cut myself, or anyone else with those sharp bits. I see them as tools of creation, these shards of daybreak. I can employ them to etch the other bits into something fresh and new, or use them to cut and create the facets of this new day, all the while doing my best to do no harm.

The gods know the world needs that. No harm.

I know a bit or two. Sure. And yeah, I sit here watching the light increase through the windows knowing that I'll have to rise from this warm and comforting place to start the next phase of the day. I'm grateful for these days. I'm grateful that spring has arrived. I'm grateful for these early morning hours that afford me this bizarre luxury to make these silly 1000 word rituals.

So now I look at these words, nonsensical though they may be, and see potential in them for more 1000 word rituals. I read through them again and figure hey, what the fuck, I think I'll share these words with you.

For whatever they may be worth. Or not.

🕊